Find out how to help your autistic and ADHD child switch off their busy brain and fall asleep more easily.
So many of the parents tell me their Autistic and ADHD child can’t switch off at bedtime. Just as things should be winding down, that’s when the questions come and the chatting starts. The fidgeting ramps up or they just can’t get into bed and stay in bed. If this sounds familiar, you are not alone, and there are things you can do to help.
When your child can’t fall asleep
For a lot of neurodivergent children, bedtime brings on what I call a busy brain. It’s that feeling of being tired but unable to switch off. Lying still (or being asked to lie still) while the mind refuses to follow suit.
Often, a busy body during the day turns into a busy brain at night. Bedtime is frequently the first properly quiet, still moment your child has had all day, and that stillness is exactly when everything they’ve been holding onto has space to come out.
What a busy brain at bedtime can look like
It shows up differently for every child, but common signs include:
- Chatting that seems to increase the moment the lights go down
- Fidgeting or restlessness once they’re in bed
- Big questions arriving out of nowhere
- Worries surfacing that didn’t seem to bother them earlier in the day
- Racing thoughts they can’t slow down
- Finding quiet uncomfortable, even painful
- Genuinely trying to sleep, but simply not being able to
What actually helps
There’s no single fix that works for every neurodivergent child, but these are strategies I come back to again and again with the families I support:
- Fiddling — something your child can hold and fiddle with repetitively is soothing for busy hands and brains, when they are feeling more relaxed sleep will come
- Getting worries out of their head and onto paper earlier in the evening – avoid having this chat close to bedtime
- An envelope containing photographs of happy memories – looking at one photo each night will give children with racing or troublesome thoughts at bedtime something positive to focus on
- Familiar audiobooks — the predictability of listening to a story your child knows very well is often more helpful than the story itself.
- Relaxing music – for some children the quietness of bedtime is what’s painful. Not everyone finds white noise easy to listen to. Instead try gentle piano or other calm music at bedtime.
When it's time for extra support
If being unable to fall asleep easily is a nightly battle rather than an occasional one, it’s worth looking at your child’s busy brain as part of a bigger bedtime picture rather than in isolation.
I’d love to hear more about your child and chat with you about how I support neurodivergent children’s sleep differently on a FREE 20 minute call.
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Discover five ways to help your autistic or ADHD child switch off their busy brain at bedtime.
You’re not doing anything wrong — your child’s brain just works differently and they are finding it tricky to shut off.
